Corny as it is, the saying is true when they say friendship is the strongest ship. With 2016 coming to an end it’s important to take a moment and reflect on the year, the friendships you’ve made, the friends you’ve lost, the ones that have helped you grow, even the toxic relationships that have brought you down…
2017 is just around the corner, and with a new year comes a new beginning. Don’t be afraid to let friends go, just because you’ve been friends for a long time doesn’t give you any reason to keep them around. Sometimes maybe you are just friends because they’ve been around a long time. Prioritise those that prioritise you. I’ve always believed friendship is a two way street, both sides must give and receive. If no effort is met in between then maybe you should question why you’re with them.
Moving around countries and entering a very volatile stage of my life I’ve come to realise that friendships are hard to come by. Whether that be making new ones, or keeping in touch with those who live a separate life from you. People change and people grow — it’s a part of life. Don’t be sad if you’ve fallen out with someone, it just means that there’s room for more. I’ve left a few behind and gained new ones along the way and I’m happier than ever. You can’t always surround yourself with high school friends if all you’re going to talk about is high school.
Find new people and keep the ones with similar interests as you, just because one version of yourself is friends with one person doesn’t mean another version of yourself can’t be friends with another. We have to realise that we can never find someone exactly like us, so don’t get disheartened if you get along with someone but they might not like the same sport team as you, or enjoy art galleries, there’s always someone out there for that one version of you — so keep looking.
This year was definitely a big friendship test for me, I made effort with those who made the effort back, and even if they didn’t I tried not to get too upset about it and just let our friendship fade. Two friendships in particular really pushed me to the limit, both for different reasons. I’ve tried to cut someone out of my life abruptly which worked for a while until I kept seeing them at every social gathering. It became hard to ignore someone and I realised how selfish and immature it was. Friendship dumping is a thing, but you don’t necessarily have to be a bitch about it. And boy, was I a bitch. Cutting someone out of your life doesn’t have to end with you blocking them on every social media and in real life, you can just stop caring about your friendship and let it naturally fade away. Don’t reply to them as much, don’t make plans, once you stop making contact they too will move on. Don’t do what I did and ignore the person in real life, especially when they give you a hug goodbye. Also if a friendship really means that much to you, just keep trying, odds are they probably care a lot too. Humans are both very insecure and egotistical beings. They don’t like making the first step, because they think the other person should. And that’s not friendship. Friendship is a two way street. It’s effort from both sides.
Rekindling friendships is definitely the best feeling. “I’ve been thinking about you” and “I saw this today and it reminded me of you” are really nice feelings to receive and give. Let me know in the comments below if you’ve let someone know that you’ve been thinking of them.